The wit and wisdom of the Twittersphere captured in a hilarious, occasionally poignant, and often useful collection of hand-picked tweets.

New York Times technology columnist David Pogue has tapped into the brilliance of his half-million followers on Twitter by posting a different, thought-provoking question every night. The questions ranged from the earnest (”What’s your greatest regret?) to the creative (”Make up a concept for a doomed TV show) to the curious (”What’s your great idea to improve the cell phone?). Out of 25,000 tweets, Pogue has gathered the very best 2,524 into this irresistible, clever, laugh-out-loud funny book. The World According to Twitter is truly a grand social networking experiment, in which thousands of voices have come together to produce a unique and wonderful record of shared human experience.

Some samples:

Compose the subject line of an email message you really, really don’t want to open.

To my former sexual partners, as required by law (@markowitz)

RE: What seems to have been your car (@pumpkinshirt)

From: Your Publisher. Subject: Ha, good one! Could you send the real chapter now, please? (@ Lookshelves)

Make up a prequel to a famous movie.

Mr. Smith MapQuests Washington (michaelbuckman)

Snakes in the Terminal (@justinchambers)

We’re Running Low on Mohicans (@rllewis)

There Goes Private Ryan…I Hope He’ll Be OK (@slightly99)

Describe your 15 minutes of fame.

My stepfather was “The agony of defeat guy on ABC’s Wide World of Sports, before the ski jumper (he was the car spinning out at Daytona 500). (@BigDaddy978)

I juggled for Clinton’s inauguration. 20 minutes of FBI pat-downs, and then I wound up throwing knives around the president anyway. (@McEuen)

I’m on a Girl Scout cookie box (have been for 9 years, so it’s longer than 15 minutes)! (@libbyfish)

Add 1 letter to a famous person’s name.

Yo Yo Mad: Angry violinist (@eboychik)

Gringo Starr: Best drummer north of the border (@eboychik)

Tronto: Sidekick of the Canadian Lone Ranger (@pumpkinshirt)

Thomas Hobbies: Life is just a bunch of nasty, brutish and short weekend projects (@louielu12)

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“I finally get it! I used to hear words like rootkit, buffer overflow, and idle scanning, and they just didn’t make any sense. I asked other people and they didn’t seem to know how these things work, or at least they couldn’t explain them in a way that I could understand. Counter Hack Reloaded is the clearest explanation of these tools I have ever seen. Thank you!” –Stephen Northcutt, CEO, SANS Institute “Ed Skoudis does it again! With this new edition, Ed takes a phenomenal work to the next level! This book is a ‘must-have’ and a ‘must-read’ for anyone remotely associated with computers and computer security.” –Harlan Carvey, CISSP, author of Windows Forensics and Incident Recovery “Ed Skoudis is a rare individual. He knows the innards of all the various systems, knows all the latest exploits and defenses, and yet is able to explain everything at just the right level. The first edition of Counter Hack was a fascinating read. It’s technically intriguing and very clear…A book on vulnerabilities, though, will get out of date, and so we definitely needed this updated and significantly rewritten second edition. This book is a wonderful overview of the field.” –From the Foreword by Radia Perlman, series editor, The Radia Perlman Series in Computer Networking and Security; author of Interconnections; and coauthor of Network Security: Private Communications in a Public World “What a great partnership! Ed Skoudis and Tom Liston share an uncanny talent for explaining even the most challenging security concepts in a clear and enjoyable manner. Counter Hack Reloaded is an indispensable resource for those who want to improve their defenses and understand the mechanics of computer attacks.” –Lenny Zeltser, coauthor of Malware: Fighting Malicious Code “Ed Skoudis does it again! With this new edition, Ed takes a phenomenal work to the next level! This book is a ‘must-have’ and a ‘must-read’ for anyone remotely associated with computers and computer security.” –Harlan Carvey, CISSP, author of Windows Forensics and Incident Recovery”In addition to having breadth of knowledge about and probing insights into network security, Ed Skoudis’s real strength is in his ability to show complex topics in an understandable form. By the time he’s done, what started off as a hopeless conglomeration of acronyms starts to sound comfortable and familiar. This book is your best source for understanding attack strategies, attack tools, and the defenses against both.” –William Stearns, network security expert, www.stearns.org”This book is a must-have for anyone in the Internet security game. It covers everything from the basic principles to the fine details of online attack methods and counter-strategies and is very engagingly written.” –Warwick Ford, coauthor of Secure Electronic Commerce For years, Counter Hack has been the primary resource for every network/system administrator and security professional who needs a deep, hands-on understanding of hacker attacks and countermeasures. Now, leading network security expert Ed Skoudis, with Tom Liston, has thoroughly updated this best-selling guide, showing how to defeat today’s newest, most sophisticated, and most destructive attacks. For this second edition, more than half the content is new and updated, including coverage of the latest hacker techniques for scanning networks, gaining and maintaining access, and preventing detection. The authors walk you through each attack and demystify every tool and tactic. You’ll learn exactly how to establish effective defenses, recognize attacks in progress, and respond quickly and effectively in both UNIX/Linux and Windows environments. Important features of this new edition include *All-new “anatomy-of-an-attack” scenarios and tools *An all-new section on wireless hacking: war driving, wireless sniffing attacks, and more *Fully updated coverage of reconnaissance tools, including Nmap port scanning and “Google hacking” *New coverage of tools for gaining access, including uncovering Windows and Linux vulnerabilities with Metasploit *New information on dangerous, hard-to-detect, kernel-mode rootkits

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Do you dream of opening up your own retail business, but don’t know how to get started? In Retail Business Kit For Dummies, retail marketing guru Rick Segel gives you the expert advice you need to get your business on its feet, with unbeatable advice on branding, marketing, and merchandising. You’ll figure out how to start and run your business, including day-to-day operations and procedures as well as all the little details retail professional handle on a daily basis.

If you’ve ever wanted to make your living interacting with customers and being your own boss, this book offers all the inside advice you need to get going. In fact, this book is perfect for anyone:

• Who wants to be her own boss
• Considering a career in retailing
• Who loves working with people
• Thinking about opening their own business
• Who loves to sell

Retail Business Kit For Dummies covers all the nuts and bolts of setting up shop-finding the perfect location, choosing and purchasing merchandise, and hiring employees. You’ll also discover how to write a business plan and deal with paperwork like taxes, permits, registrations, and other requirements. There’s also great advice on the art of selling and the fundamentals of promotion and advertising. You’ll also benefit from such practical advice like the ten keys to retailing success and ten ways to impress customers. And there’s much more:

• Branding your business
• Identifying and targeting your ideal customer
• Developing a marketing plan
• Pricing your merchandise
• Fulfilling legal and financial responsibilities
• Getting the word out
• Choosing the right media to advertise in
• Setting up and running a sale
• Fundamentals of accounting and financial statements

The book also includes a helpful CD-ROM packed with sample financial reports, customizable legal and business forms, checklists, and tools for building your own coupons, gift certificates, and much more. Whether you’re thinking about starting a business or need help running the business you already own, Retail Business Kit For Dummies is the fun and easy guide to big profits.

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SQL Server 2008 represents a sizable jump forward in scalability, performance, and usability for the DBA, developer, and business intelligence (BI) developer. It is no longer unheard of to have 20-terabyte databases running on a SQL Server. SQL Server administration used to just be the job of a database administrator (DBA), but as SQL Server proliferates throughout smaller companies, many developers have begun to act as administrators as well. Additionally, some of the new features in SQL Server are more developer-centric, and poor configuration of these features can result in poor performance. SQL Server now enables you to manage the policies on hundreds of SQL Servers in your environment as if you were managing a single instance. We’ve provided a comprehensive, tutorial-based book to get you over the learning curve of how to configure and administer SQL Server 2008.

Whether you’re an administrator or developer using SQL Server, you can’t avoid wearing a DBA hat at some point. Developers often have SQL Server on their own workstations and must provide guidance to the administrator about how they’d like the production configured. Oftentimes, they’re responsible for creating the database tables and indexes. Administrators or DBAs support the production servers and often inherit the database from the developer.

This book is intended for developers, DBAs, and casual users who hope to administer or may already be administering a SQL Server 2008 system and its business intelligence features, such as Integration Services. This book is a professional book, meaning the authors assume that you know the basics about how to query a SQL Server and have some rudimentary concepts of SQL Server already. For example, this book does not show you how to create a database or walk you through the installation of SQL Server using the wizard. Instead, the author of the installation chapter may provide insight into how to use some of the more advanced concepts of the installation. Although this book does not cover how to query a SQL Server database, it does cover how to tune the queries you’ve already written.

The first ten chapters of the book are about administering the various areas of SQL Server, including the developer and business intelligence features. Chapter 1 briefly covers the architecture of SQL Server and the changing role of the DBA. Chapters 2 and 3 dive into best practices on installing and upgrading to SQL Server 2008. Managing your SQL Server database instance is talked about in Chapter 4. This chapter also describes some of the hidden tools you may not even know you have.

Once you know how to manage your SQL Server, you can learn in Chapter 5 how to automate many of the redundant monitoring and maintenance tasks. This chapter also discusses best practices on configuring SQL Server Agent. Chapters 6 and 7 cover how to properly administer and automate many tasks inside of the Microsoft business intelligence products, such as Integration Services and Analysis Services. Developers will find that Chapter 8 is very useful, as it covers how to administer the development features, such as SQL CLR. Chapter 9 explains how to secure your SQL Server from many common threats and how to create logins and users. Chapter 10 covers how to create a SQL Server project and do proper change management in promoting your scripts through the various environments. It also covers the Policy-Based Management framework in SQL Server.

Chapters 11 through 15 make up the performance tuning part of the book. Chapter 11 discusses how to choose the right hardware configuration for your SQL Server in order to achieve optimal performance. After the hardware and operating system is configured, Chapter 12 shows you how to optimize your SQL Server instance for the best performance. Chapter 13 describes how to monitor your SQL Server instance for problematic issues such as blocking and locking. Chapters 14 and 15 discuss how to optimize the T-SQL that accesses your tables and then how to index your tables appropriately.

Chapters 16 through 20 consist of the high-availability chapters of the book. Chapter 16 covers how to use the various forms of replication, while database mirroring is covered in Chapter 17. Classic issues and best practices with backing up and recovering your database are discussed in Chapter 18. Chapter 19 dives deeply into the role of log shipping in your high-availability strategy, and Chapter 20 presents a step-by-step guide to clustering your SQL Server and Windows 2008 server.

This edition of the book covers all the same great information we covered in the last book, and we’ve added loads of new content for SQL Server 2008, which adds numerous new features to improve the DBA’s life. In short, the new version of SQL Server focuses on improving your efficiency, the scale of your server, and the performance of your environment, so you can do more in much less time, and with fewer resources and people. This means you can manage many servers at one time using Policy-Based Management, scale your I/O load using compression, and collect valuable information about your environment using data collectors, to name just a few key new features.

To follow the examples in this book, you will need to have SQL Server 2008 installed. If you wish to learn how to administer the business intelligence features, you need to have Analysis Services and the Integration Services components installed. You need a machine that can support the minimum hardware requirements to run SQL Server 2008; and you also need the AdventureWorks2008 and AdventureWorksDW2008 databases installed. Instructions for accessing these databases can be found in the ReadMe file on this book’s Web site.

Some features in this book (especially in the high-availability part) require the Enterprise or Developer Edition of SQL Server. If you do not have this edition, you will still be able to follow through some of the examples in the chapter with Standard Edition.

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When you add Pro Tools to your home recording studio, you have the software used to create hit records. Throw in Pro Tools All-In-One Desk Reference For Dummies, Second Edition and you get the insight you need to capture your sounds, edit your tracks, create a mix, and master your songs for the world to hear. Add a generous helping of your own talent and you have the perfect recipe for music stardom.

This fantastic eight-books-in-one package introduces you to Pro Tools audio- and MIDI-recording software and clues you in on basic multitrack recording techniques. You’ll get wise to Pro Tools’ many features and functions and find out how top recording studios use them to create the biggest hits on the planet. This do-it-now handbook also gets you up to speed on the essential audio-engineering skills you need to make ultra-high-quality recordings. Discover how to:

• Navigate the Pro Tools windows and menus
• Save hours of experimenting and spend more time recording
• Master microphone placement and other home recording basics
• Edit errors out of your tracks
• Equalize (EQ) tracks and add effects
• Work with midi instruments
• Blend your sounds into a stunning final mix
• Assemble and release an album

Don’t spend big bucks and many months taking classes in audio engineering and Pro Tools. Get eight quick-reference guides for one great price with Pro Tools All-In-One Desk Reference For Dummies, Second Edition and start recording your breakthrough album right away!

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